Current Buzz

(Thanks Ash)

At a Mets game a couple of weeks ago, Lady Caca was put in Jerry Seinfeld’s private luxury box after she started complaining that the paparazzi kept taking pictures of her in the front row. Even after she was moved, the paps kept their lenses directed at her and she kept throwing the fuck sign at them while wearing nothing but a bra and her favorite dick tucking panties. Citi Field later apologized to Jerry for all the shitty skid marks left all over his box. Well, Jerry is now turning the sprinklers on Lady Caca and waving his cane at her. In an interview with WFAN radio last night, Jerry called her a jerk…among other things.

In between taking slurps out of his tapioca pudding while his day nurse patted the edges of his mouth with a warm towel, Jerry said, “This woman is a jerk. I hate her. I can’t believe they put her in my box, which I paid for. You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we’re living in now? Why is she giving the finger? How old is the finger? How’d it even get to be the finger? I don’t know what these young people think or how they promote their careers.

I’m older, I’m 56. I look at Lady Gaga the way Keith Hernandez watches these kids when they pull the pocket out, they wear the inside-out pocket. … Do you think he understands that? He can’t understand that. That’s a new game, that’s kids. I’m not one of these all-publicity-is-good people. People talk about you need exposure — you could die of exposure. She is talented. I don’t know why she’s doing this stuff.”

When the host let Jerry know that Lady Caca also caused some shit at a Yankees game a few nights later, he said, “Oh please, wake me when it’s over.“

If Lady Caca would’ve never brought her attention whore act to Jerry Seinfeld’s private box, he would’ve never slagged her off, and I would’ve never wanted to take out his dentures and suck on his gums for the first time in the history of never. DAMN HER for making that asshole Jerry spit out such beautiful words of poetry that I just want to roll around nekkid in.

When I get electrocuted after licking my screen when a Seinfeld rerun comes on, I’m going to tell the emergency room nurses that it was all Lady Caca’s fault! That nasty bitch has to ruin everything!

via The New York Post

Three months before Gary Coleman’s death, he went out and got a restraining order against his ex-wife Shannon Price because he knew that minion of Satan was up to some no good shit. Radar says that while Gary was in the hospital recovering from a seizure, Shannon was staying at his house without his permission. Gary seemed to think that Shannon would steal his things or cause damage to his house by chewing on the wooden banisters. The details from Radar:

The official documents were filed under John Doe VS. Jane Doe, which is why they weren’t discovered until now.

Coleman says that ex-wife Shannon Price has moved back into his home against his wishes while he is hospitalized.

And contradicting the picture that Price has painted of herself as a loving ex-wife, Coleman writes that Price “has shown a tendency to damage, destroy and steal my property and I believe she will continue to do so in my absence and while she is trespassing in my home.”

Coleman was granted the restraining order on February 19, 2010 but never served it on Price.

Gary’s lawyer said that even though they were both abusive towards each other, they would always forgive one another and get back together. That is why Shannon was staying at his house at the time she clobbered him on the head with a mallet of his death.

I was about to scream “EXHUME THE BODY! EXHUME THE BODY” but then I remembered Gary was cremated. GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! Seriously, there has to be some evidence to put that ginger devil in the chokey.

If only Gary got the hint that Shannon was ungodly when he watched a crucifix turn upside down after she walked by it. Or if only Gary remembered that he had seen Shannon’s face years ago when he played “Bloody Mary” and her image popped up on the bathroom mirror. Yes, Gary, that’s why that ginger fugmonster of evil always looked so familiar.

Three months before Gary Coleman’s death, he went out and got a restraining order against his ex-wife Shannon Price because he knew that minion of Satan was up to some no good shit. Radar says that while Gary was in the hospital recovering from a seizure, Shannon was staying at his house without his permission. Gary seemed to think that Shannon would steal his things or cause damage to his house by chewing on the wooden banisters. The details from Radar:

The official documents were filed under John Doe VS. Jane Doe, which is why they weren’t discovered until now.

Coleman says that ex-wife Shannon Price has moved back into his home against his wishes while he is hospitalized.

And contradicting the picture that Price has painted of herself as a loving ex-wife, Coleman writes that Price “has shown a tendency to damage, destroy and steal my property and I believe she will continue to do so in my absence and while she is trespassing in my home.”

Coleman was granted the restraining order on February 19, 2010 but never served it on Price.

Gary’s lawyer said that even though they were both abusive towards each other, they would always forgive one another and get back together. That is why Shannon was staying at his house at the time she clobbered him on the head with a mallet of his death.

I was about to scream “EXHUME THE BODY! EXHUME THE BODY” but then I remembered Gary was cremated. GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! Seriously, there has to be some evidence to put that ginger devil in the chokey.

If only Gary got the hint that Shannon was ungodly when he watched a crucifix turn upside down after she walked by it. Or if only Gary remembered that he had seen Shannon’s face years ago when he played “Bloody Mary” and her image popped up on the bathroom mirror. Yes, Gary, that’s why that ginger fugmonster of evil always looked so familiar.

Three months before Gary Coleman’s death, he went out and got a restraining order against his ex-wife Shannon Price because he knew that minion of Satan was up to some no good shit. Radar says that while Gary was in the hospital recovering from a seizure, Shannon was staying at his house without his permission. Gary seemed to think that Shannon would steal his things or cause damage to his house by chewing on the wooden banisters. The details from Radar:

The official documents were filed under John Doe VS. Jane Doe, which is why they weren’t discovered until now.

Coleman says that ex-wife Shannon Price has moved back into his home against his wishes while he is hospitalized.

And contradicting the picture that Price has painted of herself as a loving ex-wife, Coleman writes that Price “has shown a tendency to damage, destroy and steal my property and I believe she will continue to do so in my absence and while she is trespassing in my home.”

Coleman was granted the restraining order on February 19, 2010 but never served it on Price.

Gary’s lawyer said that even though they were both abusive towards each other, they would always forgive one another and get back together. That is why Shannon was staying at his house at the time she clobbered him on the head with a mallet of his death.

I was about to scream “EXHUME THE BODY! EXHUME THE BODY” but then I remembered Gary was cremated. GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! Seriously, there has to be some evidence to put that ginger devil in the chokey.

If only Gary got the hint that Shannon was ungodly when he watched a crucifix turn upside down after she walked by it. Or if only Gary remembered that he had seen Shannon’s face years ago when he played “Bloody Mary” and her image popped up on the bathroom mirror. Yes, Gary, that’s why that ginger fugmonster of evil always looked so familiar.

That “sssssss” sound you hear isn’t the snake of sin coming to drag my ass into the quarantine zone that is hell so that I don’t bring gangrene into heaven. That sound is “ex-gay” (I Really Can’t) Adam Hood lisping all over the place while telling us about how God cracked his whip at him in the Castro and turned him straight (I Really Can’t: The Sequel).

I know this mess should make me want to print out a still of Adam’s face and tape it to a punching bag, but this is so damn hilarious that I just want to grab him by the fancy gold scarf he bought in the ladies section at Macy’s and say to him, “GIRL STOP!!!” The sooner he realizes he’s gayer than a sequined unicorn, the sooner he can proudly jack off to the International Male catalog without crying.

P.S. – If this isn’t satire I will wear that gold scarf as a halter top while getting whipped by a dude nicknamed God in the Castro.

via Videogum

That “sssssss” sound you hear isn’t the snake of sin coming to drag my ass into the quarantine zone that is hell so that I don’t bring gangrene into heaven. That sound is “ex-gay” (I Really Can’t) Adam Hood lisping all over the place while telling us about how God cracked his whip at him in the Castro and turned him straight (I Really Can’t: The Sequel).

I know this mess should make me want to print out a still of Adam’s face and tape it to a punching bag, but this is so damn hilarious that I just want to grab him by the fancy gold scarf he bought in the ladies section at Macy’s and say to him, “GIRL STOP!!!” The sooner he realizes he’s gayer than a sequined unicorn, the sooner he can proudly jack off to the International Male catalog without crying.

P.S. – If this isn’t satire I will wear that gold scarf as a halter top while getting whipped by a dude nicknamed God in the Castro.

via Videogum

Suri Cruise must have been away from her post at the front door of the spaceship yesterday when Tommy Girl and Stepford Katie slipped out looking like a Miller’s Outpost circa 1978 died on top of their bodies, because she would’ve never ever let them go out like this. Suri definitely would’ve made a few changes.

Katie shouldn’t be the one wearing those 70s mom jeans. They belong on Tommy! I mean, those jeans are so long that the waistband would slip right over Tommy’s titties. Aren’t you puckering from every hole just thinking about Tommy strutting his shit in a denim tube top jumpsuit while wearing those heels?! He’s so YOO HOO is right!

That “sssssss” sound you hear isn’t the snake of sin coming to drag my ass into the quarantine zone that is hell so that I don’t bring gangrene into heaven. That sound is “ex-gay” (I Really Can’t) Adam Hood lisping all over the place while telling us about how God cracked his whip at him in the Castro and turned him straight (I Really Can’t: The Sequel).

I know this mess should make me want to print out a still of Adam’s face and tape it to a punching bag, but this is so damn hilarious that I just want to grab him by the fancy gold scarf he bought in the ladies section at Macy’s and say to him, “GIRL STOP!!!” The sooner he realizes he’s gayer than a sequined unicorn, the sooner he can proudly jack off to the International Male catalog without crying.

P.S. – If this isn’t satire I will wear that gold scarf as a halter top while getting whipped by a dude nicknamed God in the Castro.

via Videogum

Following in the off-key notes of Jo De La Rosa (of The Real Housewives of OC), Kim Zolciak (of RHOA), and Countess LuMann (of RHONYC), Danielle Stubbyvag of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is trying to take the iTunes charts by storm. On Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last night, Danielle and openly gayelle singer Lori Michaels sang a duet together.

Based on her nauseating speaking voice, you would think that Danielle’s singing voice would make Grandma Wrinkles’ queefs sound like the second coming of Celine Dion, but honestly she wasn’t that bad compared to LuMann and Kim. However, watching that monster of fugness sing is the real horror show. Bitch looks like Greta Gremlin! If you stare at Danielle long enough, your eyeballs will become as deformed her tits.

The best part of this mess is the fake smile plastered on Andy Cohen’s face. The Bravo overlords need to upload a different facial expression onto his hard-drive so the poor thing can show us the pain he’s feeling inside from sitting that close to Danielle’s face.

After her performance, Danielle tried to make it seem like she’s scissoring with Lori. Yes, serve me more plates of bullshit on Kim G’s wide ass forehead, Danielle. Please, Danielle isn’t a lez. She’s a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine.