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Guys! GUYS! Totes such hotness on “The Hills” last night! The gang all went out to Las Vegas to surprise Brody for his birthday and Lauren FULLY KISSED HIM? I think they may be getting back together! How great is that!? Lauren so deserves love!?! Meanwhile, Audrina TOTALLY THREW A BITCH FIT at her friends and some guy who is only wearing a towel because she thinks the rest of the girls are all, Don’t date Justin Ricky Lee Harvey John Wayne Bobby, but you know what? They were just trying to be friendly to him. And also?!?

She SHOULDN’T date him, he’s a major butt, right?!? Also, they finally let the fat girl talk and they gave her a name, but I forgot it, because, come on, fat girl, right? Also, also, Lauren got flashed by Lo’s vag and was all Brody, I saw Lo’s Britney! Which is so funny, because, like, Britney Spears also has a vagina that she is always flashing? I Anyway, back in L.A.? It’s Spencer and Heidi’s anniversary? And Heidi tells the old dude at Bolthouse that she can’t cover some event because her anniversary is that much more important, even though it’s with Spencer who is a major dick and still won’t tell his parents that they’re engaged? And old dude is all, Fine, whatever, just make sure someone covers it? And Heidi’s like, No problem? So she goes to Elodie—who she TOTALLY SCREWED OVER BEFORE—and is all, Hey, I really need you to cover this for me? And Elodie smiles and is like, Oh, sure, anything for you. Except what we know but Heidi doesn’t even know is that Elodie already made plans to quit her job? So Heidi’s at dinner with Spencer and the phone rings and someone’s all, You need to get down here now? And Heidi’s like, but Elodie’s covering it, and whoever’s on the other end is all, Nuh uh, Elodie quit? And we’re like, Hahahah, that’s what you get, you job-stealing bitch!?!?!?! So Heidi is fully, I have to go to work? And Spencer acts like the big gay baby he is? How does Heidi not see what a stupid mean jerk Spencer can be?!?!?!?!?!?! It, was, like, so, satisfying, oh, my, God, you, guys!?!? Also? This is the last “The Hills” I will ever have to watch?!???!? And it sort of makes me sad, because when I watch “The Hills” I forget about war and poverty and basic math? And I, like, don’t want to go back to caring about stuff or knowing the name of the President or reading books? But I guess I have to? I guess??!?!?!?!?!? Anyway, I’ll miss you, “Hills.” We’ll always have that time where that one girl said that really stupid thing and everyone was all, What? I’ll never forget it.

So these are the questions I have about last night’s episode:

1.  What do you think of what Elodie did to Heidi?

2.  Do you think there will be another hook up with Jason and Lauren?

3.  Was Spencer’s reaction over the top or did he have a right to be upset about Heidi having to leave?

As always, your comments are very much appreciated.  One final comment:  I wonder what Lauren’s rival Kristen is up to these days … Ta ta.

MTV The Hills star Brody Jenner was recently celebrating his brithday in Las Vegas. Britney Spears’ ex Kevin Federline was in Vegas as well. The t met up at the pool and Brody walked away with some of K Fed’s bling and wore it the rest of the day. Hmmm. maybe it was a b day gift from K Fed. NEway, here’s a photo of Brody getting serenaded by west coast rapper Too Short for his birthday. Brody’s birthday party and more antics willk air on an upcoming episode of The Hills Season 3.
Happy Birthday Brody!

The crazy train just keeps chugging along as Britney Spears now fears her children will be kidnapped.  On the serious note, I think anyone in a high profile position would be concerned about something like that as I believe Will Smith and Jada Pinckett Smith went through something like this a few years ago.  However, the difference between Mr. and Mrs. Smith is that they did not drag their children all over the place while the paparazzi chased them and get into fights with photographers putting their kids in even more harm.  That’s all I’m saying about that one.

And they siad it wouldn’t last … and it didn’t.  Britney is offically single and ready to mingle.  All eligible bachelors out there who are interested in a fertile blonde, former mousketeer with 2 children and a deadbeat baby daddy, are open and welcome to apply.  Let me stop, that’s really mean.

 On a positive note, I really hope Brit gets it together and let’s her family back in her life soon. They are the ones who will be there for her in the end.  I’m sure Shar Jackson is plotting getting her man back at this very moment.  Speaking of Shar, would we all be really surprised if we saw them get back together in the next 6 months? Shar was looking kind of tight at a movie premiere a few weeks ago…

I found the photo on the left at dlisted from Britney Spears latest music video that was shot about 10 days ago here in Los Angeles.  You can click the link to view the rest of the horrid photos.  The photos immediately prompted me to find a photo of her before all of this madness started in her life. 

It seems like it was just a short while ago when Britney announced to the world that whe would be taking a year long break from music and movies.  A few months later, she met K Fed while he had Shar Jackson knocked up with their second child and it’s been downhill every since.  Really, if you think about it, her story is no different from what happens every day.  I’m sure we all know someone who met a loser, had his kid and their lives were changed forever.  I know I do.  Unfortunately for Brit, she’s living out her trailer park soap opera in front of the whole world.

When an MTV crew showed up at the San Francisco Academy of Art to film one of Heidi Montag’s classmates, she wasn’t too impressed. You see, Heidi had never seen Laguna Beach or its star, Lauren Conrad. But, much to the delight of network execs, the two hit it off and started plotting a move to Los Angeles. The rest was history. Soon Heidi and L.C. were given their own spin-off, The Hills, and Heidi was a breakout star.

For the second season, Heidi has been promoted at her event-planning job with Bolthouse Productions—which means more fun out on the town. The camera-hungry hellcat was as eager to strut her stuff for Stuff’s lens as she is every Monday night at 10 P.M.—and the results speak for themselves.

STUFF: Did you have fun doing our photo shoot?
HEIDI: Oh, I couldn’t wait! I love being sexy, and I’m up for whatever.

So you went from Crested Butte, Colorado, to the Hollywood Hills.
Yeah, and it’s a long way! I’ve loved absolutely every minute of it.

Having cameras follow you around all the time never bothers you?
Reality TV is a really fun, privileged world, and I’m just happy to be a part of it. I mean, if you need a minute to yourself, you aren’t going to get it, but you just have to realize it’s what you signed up for, because those difficult moments are what make for a much better show.

Are any episodes particularly hard for you to watch?
No, I don’t take any of it too seriously. With friends it’s hard sometimes. You’re like, “Wait, I didn’t say that!” Or you say something you don’t want a friend to see and then she sees it, and you’re like, “Ahh, just kidding!”

How about watching the sobfest when you dumped your lame boyfriend Jordan?
That was easy. It was the best decision of my life. I should have done that so much sooner.

Does that mean he and Lauren’s boyfriend Jason won’t be returning this season?
Oh, no! They are so done. They can have their own show called The Valley or something. This season is a million times better. It’s very Sex and the City—a lot more about sex and hooking up with guys, parties we go to and the whole Hollywood scene instead of us just sitting at home with our boyfriends. It’s a much friskier show now.

So no holding back this time?
Definitely not. I was a little more reserved last year, but now I’m like, whatever—I’m going out with a bang.

What’s the weirdest thing about people recognizing you?
When people come up to me and say things like, “You’re prettier in person.” I’m like, “Did you think I was a freak or something?” I don’t really know what to say to people with comments like that. But life after the show is great! It’s nothing but parties, having fun and meeting amazing people.

Which celebrities were you most excited to meet?
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were really nice, but I think the best was when I hung out with Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton.

Did you talk with them about what it’s like to be on reality TV?
Yeah. They have a different version of it, but we’re definitely our own little community.

And just like Paris, you’re recording your own album, right?
Well, it’s under wraps right now, and I’m not sure what the details are, but it’s something I’m passionate about, and you’ll probably see some of it this season.

What kind of music is it?
It’s a mixture of Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. I want to bring older elements and albums into it, too. It’ll be very sexy and fun; it’ll be very Heidi. [Laughs] I want to make a new genre.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
In five years, hopefully I’ll have a couple of hit albums and do some movies, too.

And in the meantime you’re happy with life on The Hills?
Hey, it’s TV, so whatever. I just take things as they come and try not to have too-high expectations. I’m having a lot of fun, and that’s all that matters!

Life and Style Magazine is reporting that Britney Spears has taken the kids to Vegas for a little vacation and that she is staying at the Wynn. K Fed is reportedly furious and this is all supposed to be against a court order regarding taking the children out of the state without his permission.  Give me break. This little Vegas trip is the least of their problems. She drags those kids all over the place on a weekly basis.  When does the intervention start?

Britney has also fired her latest assistant, whatever her name is. I refuse to give her last assistant any glory by publishing her name.   Perez Hilton reported earlier this week that he met the now ex assistant last week at Britney’ video shoot and the girl seemed very pyched to have been photographed with Britney in Malibu last week.  So not cool.  Regardless of the kids, the last place Britney Spears needs to be visiting is Las Vegas.